10 Things You Need To Stop Saying to Bisexuals

So are you like, 70% girls and 30% guys or the other way around?

Interesting you should ask that, because my sexuality is actually 100% none of your business.

 

Have you ever had a threesome? No? But you’re interested in one, right?

Yeah I had a threesome last week. With your current girlfriend and your future wife? I would apologise but I guess it’s just the selfish bisexual part of me.

 

I can’t date a girl that’s been near dick, sorry.

Probably a good thing I can’t date a girl that’s a biphobic piece of shit then, isn’t it?

(Just to let you know the video below is extremely biphobic but basically demonstrates how offensive gay women can be when talking about bi women – please don’t watch if it will upset you.)

 

You’ve been with *insert long term partner who happens to be the opposite sex here* for so long, are you sure you’re still into girls?

Shit man, you’re right. It’s also not rained for the past 4 days either so I’m currently debating the existence of precipitation too.

The thought of you having sex with girls really turns me on.

If I decide to have sex with a girl, then that act is there to be sexualised ONLY by myself and the girl involved. You don’t stand there getting off over the thought of your guy mates having sex with a girl, so why me? Maybe it’s because of the world’s misogynistic tendency to over-sexualise lesbian sex. Or maybe it’s because you’re a creep. Who knows?

 

Are you aware of the amount of straight passing privilege that bisexuals benefit from?

Yes. What do you want me to do about it? Walk down the street when I’m holding hands with my boyfriend yelling “DON’T BE FOOLED, I WOULD ALSO DO THIS WITH A GIRL TOO IF I HAPPENED TO BE WITH ONE”? We live in a heteronormative society, everybody assumes everybody is straight until they’re told differently. I’m doing just as much as the next LGBTQ+ person to reject that, trust me. (Also, nobody benefits from having their sexuality ignored. It’s as invalidating as fuck so don’t you dare try and “debate” with me on that shit).

 

It’s just a phase/a stepping stone.

Fuck. Off.

Bisexuality is “cool” at the minute, you’re just doing it to seem edgy/for attention.

Because the image of me at 16 years old sitting at the dining room table with my parents, my heart beating so fast it feels like it’s gonna burst out and land on the plate in front of me, as I try to force the words “I’m bisexual” out of my mouth was SO edgy. I was just the EPITOME of cool in that moment.

 

Bisexuals are just greedy.

Hide yo’ wives and yo’ kids… And literally everybody else cause who knows who I’m gonna fuck next. I certainly don’t. It’s quite terrifying, actually. Like when Bruce Banner has no idea how to control turning into the Hulk, but with humping.

 

I think everyone is a *little bit* bisexual though, it’s like the most accepted sexuality except for being straight.

I’m gonna take this time to introduce you to the concept of bi-erasure. Bi-erasure is when bisexual people are “too straight” to be in the LGBTQ+ community and “too gay” to be straight. We literally fit in nowhere and you want to sit there and tell me that my sexuality is the “most accepted”? Do yourself a favour and stop fucking talking. Save your breath for when you’ve thought it all through.

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4 thoughts on “10 Things You Need To Stop Saying to Bisexuals

  1. Gees, the video about what lesbians think of bisexual people is pretty horrendous. Sadly the “bisexual girls respond” follow up that was made to that was just as riddled with biphobia and stereotypes. We have a long way to go to address prejudice within the Queer community.

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